不可以獨自入睡

mbox21

My son is now 28mths and he still cant sleep in his own. I have tried so many ways but failed. He cries and bet for not sleeping in his own..

Will this effect his personal growth etc?

Thanks.

s0902738

You mean he can't fall asleep on his own, or he has to sleep with you together? Anyway, my experience tells me that you need to be persistent in allowing him to cry for that for a period of time and still force him to sleep on his own bed, because everytime you give in, you will have to start all over again. One trick I can advice you is that I always spend 30 mins, reading them 1 or 2 stories, and then ask them to quietly lying down and listen to a meditative story. If they are not calm yet, I would ask them to do a full body relaxation, and listen to their own breathing. (These are the things I do with my student in kids yoga class)... and I apply to their sleeping routine, it works like magic. They sleep in peace and the meditative story often direct their focus to continue their imagination, rather than thinking of not having you around. I have been doing this since my daughter is 2 and now she is 4.5 yrs old, and my son just turn 2.  Try it... I walk out the room within 30 mins within hazzle.

berry

為什麼一定要個小朋友咁細就自己一個人睡呢?! 其實我小時候因窮, 住的地方不大, 我是同我姐姐一起睡, 由小至大都係, 真至中一, 我們搬了, 才有大的地方分床睡, 但我就沒有因要突然自己睡而睡不到. 還很懷念與姐姐睡未入睡時的談話.
可能妳們會見笑, 我仔今年9歲, 他還是和我一起睡同一張床, 其實唔係佢唔獨立, 又唔係因為佢怕, 而係我地大家都好珍惜現在佢還小的借口. 那種親子的感覺好SWEET. 有時我忙, 他會自己睡先, 我入房時他已睡了.
佢見我頭痛, 睡前會問我還痛嗎? 我們有一個協議, 到了佢9歲就要自己一間房. 佢是知道的, 但他還是很珍惜. 那一個小朋友大了不懂拿筷子? 我仔在生活上十分獨立, 他自己去中心學課外活動, 很想自己返學(試過一次), 不過我還是很想陪伴著他, 因這個過程係最SWEET的, 何必咁心急, 佢一定會長出翅膀高飛, 佢一定會要求要自己一問房架, 慢慢珍惜現在的時間, 多陪伴, 多呵護. 佢將來就會學識如何去珍惜和不會說飛就飛.

mbox21

Thank you so much berry. Actually, my son is sleeping with me since he was born. I have tried to train him sleeping on his own but he just dont like it and cry..cry..so pity he looks and beg for sleeping with me. Heart broken this point and I thought is that a must to train him sleep on his own? but the most important is I worry that will effect his growing path.

If this wont, then I really love to sleep with him as you said 親子的感覺好SWEET and he will leave me when he grew up..

thanks,

berry

我都係呀, mbox21, 他一出生, 我就與他一起睡, 未間斷過, 每回回憶起與他由小至大都一起睡前的分享, 真的好感動, 沒有後悔, 沒有錯過每一個過程. 感覺好好. (起碼不用每晚要走過另一間房看他有沒蓋好被)
和妳的孩子先定一個協議, 何時才自己睡, 令他有一個心理準備, 是自己定的, 佢一定會記得, 珍惜現在,每晚睡前和他談談話, 說故事,不要膽心未發生的事. 孩子的依賴其好短的. 好多家長都錯過了.
由我仔小時候起, 我就會和他一起作故事, 大家一起幻想故事的開始, 經過和結局. 其實早一個月前, 他已提我要為他準備房間了, 因他已九歲, 他是記得的, (不過他還是想享受多些被媽媽愛的感覺) 他希望有自己的空間, 事實上, 不獨立的是我, 他反而沒有什麼的不捨. 我一早已知, 如果他要飛, 是我阻不了, 但心還是有不捨. 哈哈!!!!

mbox21

Hi, s0902738.

I took your suggestion but he didnt like to listen to his own breathing. I told him to take several deep breath instead then he fell into asleep immediately. haha..

Any how, think I will ask him to sleep on his own during nap time and I will sleep with him during the night. I have so much fun to play with him before sleep (although I am so tired..).

For sure, I will tell him tonight I cant sleep with him any more when he is 9 yrs. =P

Thanks all.

echowu

西方國家與中國人（或東方人）在孩子睡覺的問題上的看法有所不同，而我覺得是否讓孩子獨自睡覺（或單獨一個房間睡覺）可能會因為文化背景的不同而產生不同的觀點及處理辦法。

雖然讓孩子儘早學會獨立是件好事，但本人認為大可不必強求。有的孩子對獨自一人睡覺並無特別反感，家長自然可以放心、舒心地處理此事；但有些特別強烈反對的孩子，如無大礙，家長或許可以適當地允許孩子在某些日子（如一個星期最多三天）由大人陪同入睡，然後慢慢去習慣完全獨立。除非家長自身覺得很有必要讓孩子自己一人睡覺，那你就要堅持了，要令孩子明白你的決定是無法改變的，他/她再怎樣苦惱也無用。

Dr Wu

mbox21

Mind I ask where do you teach Yoga? I would like to take yoga with my son too. THanks.

2# s0902738